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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 20.06.2025 00:22

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

What legal actions can be taken if a neighbor's unleashed dog causes harm or injury?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

What's the most sordid activity you've ever seen or heard about at a bachelorette party?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Where are the big girls? This is the first time I've seen a bigger lady boy and that's awesome .. you should post more of them here, nothing wrong with a thick black lady

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”